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I made one of my co-workers cry today by telling her that I was leaving. To be fair, she was already in a delicate state of mind- her brother-in-law, whom neither she nor her husband have seen in 20 years (!), is leaving today after a visit of two days. Can you imagine not seeing your own brother for twenty years? I expressed my shock and she said, "In Strana, anything can happen."

It wasn't a surprise. I haven't kept it a secret, but some people have forgotten that I will leave after 2 years. I told my Russian tutor that I was leaving in the middle of December, and she asked, "For how long?" I blinked, unsure if 'forever' was the right word, stalled, and then she said it for me. Her voice broke between the first and the second syllables. I nodded. It's not the right answer– I promised my neighbor that I would return– but it's the most concrete reply I can give for now. After all, barring some startling change in my future, I will never live here again– oh, hell. I've retrod these thoughts so many times, why do it anew?